Thursday, April 23, 2009

Practice makes for improvements

I previously described a practice cake made from the Epicurious chocolate layer cake recipe. Two weeks later I went ahead and made the real thing for Mommy's 45th birthday. It was glorious to taste, and the ganache was the stuff of dreams.



It was still a good learning experience. The hour was late and my patience and impulse-control were running low. I could not bear to let it cool before frosting it, and I did pay the price. Furthermore, that gel in-tube icing is no fun whatsoever, so I made more and added another layer of writing on top, to an acceptably cool effect. Was it a work of art, with its peaky writing and craterous center? Perhaps not, but it was pretty damn cute and tasted perfect.

I have since made this cake once more, for my Great-Grandma's (a.k.a. GG) 95th birthday on April 16th. Following some fantastic cake-baking tips, I halved the recipe to make a single, decadent 10" layer and omitted the raspberry filling (GG likes chocolate). The oven at The Nest is the Quarter Horse of ovens; never quite on top of things, like perhaps it was meant to be something, anything but a hunter...wait, are we talking about horses? Anyways, the oven runs cool so I just set it to the stated temperature rather than a little higher, and baked the cake a bit longer. I also made my own cake strips by neatly wrapping wet paper towels in aluminum foil and pinning them to the edge of the pan. Planning ahead helped, as I had all day Saturday to let the cake cool first in the pan, then on the rack, before wrapping it in plastic wrap and moving it to the freezer. The chilly and remarkably even layer, removed about an hour later, was about a thousand times easier to handle, and less crumby. A bit of ganache softened in the microwave made a workable, waste-less crumb coat, after which the cake was retired to the fridge for a half-hour or so. The main coat came out lovely and smooth.
For the writing, I chose to trace out my letters in the ganache with a toothpick first. I have a lot of icing anxiety, and this experience did little to assuage it. I followed the JoyofBaking.com royal icing recipe, which was simple and did not require any thermometers (I refuse to make any kind of frosting or icing which requires a bloody candy thermometer) and dyed it a faint blue. I piped "Happy 95th Birthday GG!" over my tracing, and decorated the edge with pale blue dots. It was really quite beautiful...

...until the icing broke. Why did this happen?! Fortunately, GG is quite nearly blind, not that she would ever have said anything even if she could see how the liquidy parts spread away from the stiffer center and dried that way. My only guess is that perhaps I did not beat the eggs thoroughly enough, and the lemon juice ran off with some of the lumen. How annoying! It was practically perfect in every way, but for the icing. Boo.

Regardless, it was a nice 95th birthday party, and having never heard the story before, I begged to hear how GG met Vincent, her long-time boyfriend of truly staggering vitality. Vincent left us at the age of 104, and what a fabulous character he was, aqua Cadillac and all.

It must have been in the early or mid 80's, as my great grandfather died in 1986 quite soon after I was born, I think. A strapping farmer born in French-speaking Maine, my great grandfather was steadily deteriorating under Alzheimer's. His wife, a petite 5'4", cared for him until family and friends insisted that she could no longer manage his needs alone, and so he was sent to a professional care facility. She visited always.
GG was not long after this decision swimming with a friend, enjoying Senior Swim hour, which actually lasted 2 hours. Most of the attendees were women, to whom 2 lanes were devoted, while the other lanes were for the men, of which there was only one. You can hear my great grandma laughing at herself when she describes how sorry she felt for the little old man, swimming by himself. Perhaps she thought she was brightening his day in exchanging pleasantries after being introduced to Mr. Vincent Stella by her friend, Terry.
After their swim, my great grandmother went to Boston Chicken (as it was called in those days) for lunch, while Terry went home, having already eaten. And who should she bump into there but the little old man from the pool! My great grandma must have thought herself quite charitable, offering to pay for the little old man's lunch, but he declined and insisted on paying for hers instead. As she watched him go to his aqua-blue Cadillac, she felt even sorrier for him. Said she, to herself: "That must be his only possession left in the world! Poor thing."
I think that, to use my mother's favorite expression, I come by my love of story-telling honestly. I cannot imagine that my great grandma would keep such a funny tale to herself, and so she told Terry, who laughed and laughed. "Oh, no!" she must have cried, telling her friend not to pity the little old man, who had emigrated from Italy at the age of 14 and had cheerfully retired at forty thanks to a thriving oil business. He had had a wife, and plenty of children, grandchildren, and great grandchildren.

My great grandmother then recalls sitting at home one day, now empty without her husband, and seeing a be-hatted head bob past the window. She looked up, and when she heard a knock at the door, she pressed herself into a corner that gave her a convenient, secretive view of the door through a great picture window. There stood Vincent! Surprised as anything - or perhaps surprised only for the story - she invited him in, and after he crossed the threshold he swept off his hat. My great grandfather was, I know, quite a good man, but he and Vincent must have been like night and day. The former had been hard of hearing since boyhood, and was not naturally inclined to exuberance. He was tall and strong, quiet and shy, never drank or smoked, and wanted above anything to return to his farm after the war. His father sold off everything during the war: the plow horses, the property, the livestock and machinery, and when the tractor was finally sold, my great grandfather wept. Vincent was not a tall man, but was meticulously groomed and fashionable, taking great pride in his appearance. He loved to dance and loved to be photographed, and had a bigness all his own.

And after sitting with my great grandmother for some time, Vincent asked her to dinner.

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

101 in 1001 days

I've decided to join in on the fun and make my own list of 101 tasks to complete in 1001 days. If Thursday, April 23rd represents "Day Zero" then I must complete these tasks by Thursday, January 19th, 2012. For more information, visit Day Zero.

Four things greater than all things are, -

Women and Horses and Power and War.
Rudyard Kipling

001. Jump three feet.
002. Drive a pony.
003. Ride an Arabian again.
004. Clicker-train Beep Beep to "whoa", "walk", "trot", and "canter". (0/4)
005. Make Beep Beep into a beginner horse.
006. Attend a sporthorse inspection.
007. Break out a greenie.


And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin

008. Save $6,000 by August 2009.
009. Get a nanny job for summer 2009.
010. Get a volunteer lab job for summer 2009.
011. Get a volunteer or paid lab job for fall 2009.
012. Move to Boston.
013. Get a full-time job with benefits for fall 2009 in Boston.
014. Get a credit card that I pay for, or transfer the one I share with Mommy to me.
015. Find a dentist, physician, GYN and ophthalmologist in Boston.
016. Acquire copies of all my medical and dental records.
017. Organize all personal documents.
018. Throw at least one of each: apartment-warming party, Christmas party, Halloween party, New Years party, birthday party.
019. Get and decorate my own Christmas tree.
020. Send out self-made Christmas cards to family and friends.

I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale.
Marie Curie

021. Learn my times-tables up to 12.
022. Learn the first 20 squares of natural numbers.
023. Learn the first 10 cubes of natural numbers.
024. Write intelligent (not "getting to know you") letters to 3 researchers whose work I admire. (0/3)
025. Seriously read 2 college textbooks. (0/2)
026. Take a Biochemistry course.
027. Take a Cell Biology course.
028. Take Genetics again, or a specific Genetics-type class if I'm not allowed to take it again.
029. Take a Molecular Biology course.
030. Finish my Biology GRE study book.
031. Take the Biology GRE.
032. Take Biochem/Cell/Molecular Biology GRE.
033. Retake the basic GREs. Shoot for a 700/600/6.0.
034. Get into the graduate program at the University of Kentucky.

"Oh! certainly,'' cried his faithful assistant, "no one can be really esteemed accomplished, who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.''

"All this she must possess,'' added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.''

Jane Austen

035. Read On the Origin of the Species.
036. Read the Bible.
037. Read the Koran.
038. Read Auto Repair for Dummies (or something like it).
039. Read 50 previously unread books from the Random House/Modern Library's list of the 100 Best Novels.
040. Memorize my favorite speech from Shakespeare.
041. Read a novel in Spanish or German.
042. Read 10 books of non-western canon, such as these.

Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.
José Martí

043. Give up chocolate for a month on three separate occasions. (0/3)
044. Give up peanut butter for a month.
045. Give up cheese for a month.
046. Give up candy, cookies, alcohol and starchy foods for a full month on two occasions. (0/2)
047. Keep a journal of everything I eat and drink for a week on 10 occasions. (0/10)
048. Create my own ab/core routine and do it every day for a month.
049. Eat nothing after 8PM every night for a fortnight on four occasions. (0/4)
050. Make a list of the 10 Best Reasons to Do That Physical Activity Right Now!
051. Make a list of the 10 Best Reasons to Put That Down Right Now!
052. Write a goodbye letter to Chubbyself.
053. Weigh 160 lbs.
054. Weigh 150 lbs.
055. Develop a training schedule for the marathon on August 25th, 2009.
056. Run the Self-Transcendence Marathon with Julie.
057. Run a 5K.

People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.
Ralph Waldo Emerson

058. Go a whole day without complaining on 20 separate occasions. (0/20)
059. Go a whole day without saying the words "no", "not", etc. on 5 separate occasions. (0/5)
060. Go a whole day without saying "like" on 6 separate occasions. (0/6)
061. Make a list of 25 things that make me happy.
062. Make a list of 25 things that I love about myself.
063. Make a list of 25 things that I love about friends and family.
064. Take a week off from medication.

There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford.
John Bradford
Often written: There but for the grace of God, go I.

065. Give blood.
066. Write and send letters to 3 people who made a difference to me growing up. (0/3)
067. Complete Emma's horse book.
068. Make dinner for my parents once a week.
069. Visit my grandma and great-grandma 20 times. (0/20)
070. Send my little brother a card for his birthday. (0/3)
071. Attend a charity ball.
072. Develop and use a nondenominational "grace" before meals.
073. Adopt a Standard Poodle.

Miscellaneous, enrichment.
074. Get an allergy test.
075. Floss at least twice a week.
076. Get into bed by 10 every night for a fortnight on 5 occasions. (0/5)
077. Eat fish once every 2 weeks, canned tuna not to count.
078. Watch 10 sunrises. (0/10)
079. Ask out a boy. Pick him up and pay for dinner.
080. Go camping.
081. Go to Germany.
082. Learn CPR.
083. Learn needlepoint.
084. Take a dance class.
085. Attend 5 plays. (0/5)
086. Attend 1 concert.
087. Make 15 museum trips. (0/15)
088. Play a game of soccer or football.
089. Make a recipe book.
090. Plant an herb or vegetable garden.
091. Plan and make 15 local meals. (0/15)
092. Make a scrapbook of some stuff from my "memory box."
093. Meditate for 5 minutes 5 times per month. (0/415)
094. Go a month without that.
095. Bring a Wikipedia article to "Featured Article" status.
096. Get back in the boat.
097. Re-learn a serviceable front crawl.
098. Write an article, letter, or blog post about ADHD.
099. Post/discuss and photograph these tasks.
100. Donate $1 to charity for each task not completed at the end of 1001 days.
101. Make a new 101 in 1001 list.



Monday, February 23, 2009

Thoughts, post ideas...

Climate change: our human societies are constructed around certain climate patterns; changes will affect populations. Don't be an asshole.
Little John saying he thought it would be great if a certain percentage of people in Africa died of AIDS. I grew up with my fair share of disenchanted kids with too much leisure time and expendable income; don't go all fucking JD Salinger on me.
Best sporthorse registries, creating the best sporthorse registry; Continental SH? Photo inspections and cheating, color requirements WHAAT?
Greengate lady's comments (Good ol' boy system), Interstallion efforts
Just because it's well-reasoned doesn't make it true; horse books and conformation
Pretty and marketability, that TTouch lady and face shape and prejudice
Comparative conformation and movements (hunters, Arabians, QHs etc)
Non-selective registries; diseases in WBs vs diseases in QHs, Arabians, Tbs, etc.
White horses, cream horses, colors, reviewing reviews
Ideal horse for me
ADHD horses
Defining ADHD
Science science science
Dinosaurs
Child-rearing, public school, anti-Wikipedia, recess
Politics
Books; Harry Potter
Future life, mortality/immortality
Great teachers: Mrs. something 7th grade science, Mr. Carlyon 9th grade physics, Mr. Waldinger AP Bio, Mr. Johnston band (God bless you!), Dr. B
manners, values, weddings/marriage, metabolism of sugar/thyroid health, "sensitivity", evolution, human evo., Raffi tapes & Mr. Rogers
The unfortunate Jon and Kate + 8 GSD puppies
Quiet = nice?
Embracing fluttery silliness, a la Smitten Kitchen. "My affections are fleeting, alright?"
Stupid vs. % stupid activities. The human mind is beautiful.
"You believe that people are inherently stupid and bad, and are pleasantly surprised by individuals. I believe that the human race is a beautiful thing, and tend to be disappointed by individuals."
Beauty vs. art. Beauty = expensive. Loving beauty.
Seeing the world through pony-colored glasses.
Emotional Mad-libs, emotional inertia

Practice cake

I have a silly friend. Not prankster-silly, or foolish-silly...but the kind of silly that can forget to eat if she's busy. That is something that I can experience about as purely as red-green colorblindness (as a matter of interest, I have two of those sorts). The silliest part about her relationship with food is not even that she can forget to eat, but that she can forget to eat because she's too busy baking. On the weekends, this single young lady bakes cookies and cakes and everything in between. Fabulously, too!

Invariably, someone in your life, trying to encourage you to like chemistry, will tell you that it's just like cooking. However when chemistry precedes the first buddings of impulses to cook, as it does for me, one might have to say that cooking is like chemistry. And - are you ready, old school SAT fans? - cooking : chemistry :: baking : __?__.
(a) biochem
(b) torture
(c) recess
(d) organic
(e) physics

If you chose (d) organic, congratulations, you agree with me! The parts of organic chemistry that I enjoyed entailed imagining the interactions of molecules and their conformation, which are too eenie-weenie to actually watch or see. However organic chemistry lab was 3 hours per week for 30 total weeks (two semesters) of scheduled anxiety. Chemistry and cooking are similar because one follows a recipe. Organic chemistry and baking represent the same variation on that theme; if you do not follow the instructions to the letter, things go horribly, horribly awry. I am however, a realist on this point: a doughy cookie or an icing that falls apart into a gooey mess is not tragedy on the same scale as a deep lungful of fuming sulfuric acid or a botched sodium fusion test. Some days more than others I might not feel this way, but on the whole I am more leery of a chemically-ravaged esophagus than ravaged sweets.

While the fear of imminent injury made organic chemistry lab into a weekly cortisol-fest, baking gives me just that little thrill of "Oo gosh I hope this comes out yummy!" My friend got me hooked on baking. For two weeks it was Valentine's day cookies: chocolate-dipped marzipan conversation hearts and orange butter cookies dressed alternately in white chocolate, dark chocolate, or white icing were the favorites. With oodles of sprinkles, liberal use of red food coloring, and spiffy food coloring-markers, I ended up with plates and plates of pink chocolatey sugary be-sprinkled atrocities. Oh, they were hedonism itself, drizzled in chocolate.

This past weekend I made peanut butter cookies, but I halved the recipe (yes I used half an egg!) and didn't have any peanut butter chips so I used extra extra chocolate chips. They were superb. And in other news, the notoriously badly-calibrated oven in my kitchen was beautifully-behaved. I also tried the famous Epicurious chocolate cake recipe.

There are some things that you shouldn't do for the first time when it really counts. Jumping on horseback comes to mind, and so do birthday cakes. I have never made a cake of any kind, and Mommy's 45th birthday is in the first week of March, so I needed to practice. My goal is to bake a chocolate cake with a preppy feel: pink and green will be making a cameo appearance. For my practice cake I needed 2, 10x2" round cake pans, which not only did we not have at home, but could not be found at the grocery store. Boo. The grocery store did, however, have boulder-sized hunks of Callebaut. Memorably, my college dining service had used tremendous quantities of Callebaut for Valentine's day displays, and a thieving friend provided me about 1.5 pounds of her bittersweet spoils. In any event, my practice cake is square. I started after dinner and would have finished before the end of the Oscars had the dish washer not taken several eons to give me some clean measuring implements. I had to guesstimate on the amount of chocolate: I bought 0.75 pounds and needed 3 ounces. My mommy helped me with that math. The cakes came out beautifully and slipped cheerfully out of the square pans. I used canola non-stick spray and parchment paper on the inside of (2) 9x9x2" pans.

I chose a whipped cream filling and followed The Joy of Cooking's directions for "Stabilized Whipped Cream" and then added in 0.25 cups of smooshed raspberries (seeds and all, babies). The result was pretty and a faint but lusty purplish-pink. I spread this between the two layers, and then discovered that my square cakes did not have flush edges.

I also made a very simple buttercream frosting: beat the snot out of 0.5 cups room-temperature butter and 0.5 teaspoons vanilla, then beat in - cup by cup - 4.5 cups of confectioner's sugar. Add milk a tablespoon or so at a time until it's the consistency you want. Ohmygod delicious! I think other recipes probably give you a more reliable, pliable frosting, but anything that requires a candy thermometer is too much work. Plus, I don't have a candy thermometer. I made this pretty thin to avoid a crumby massacre.

Initially, I just frosted the cakes in the hopes that the frosting would cover up the unevenness. No go. I made the frosting pretty runny, remember? So I lined up one corner and trimmed two sides. It looks marginally better now, or at least less lumpy. Bits of pink filling and brown cake do show through.

This cake is tasty. The buttermilk (horribly misleading name, blech!) and coffee give it a bitterness that keeps it from tasting cheap, and the texture is lovely. The original recipe recommends a chocolate ganache frosting and filling, but my initial reaction was that such a dark, rich, somber thing would clash a bit with my preppy goals. However, I do not think that the white frosting and fluffy pink filling are a good match for this cake. A delicious raspberry filling, more gelatinous and shiny and dense, would be delicious. Combined with a shiny ganache shell, this cake would be gorgeous...

...and sadly, exactly like the one available at Highland Park Market. Perhaps a chocolate+liquor filling would be better, or an orange or clementine filling. I haven't given up on decorating the top of the cake with darling dots of pink and green icing, but I definitely have some thinking and research to do on the subject. More later.

Monday, October 6, 2008

Blogging, generally

I've never really read any blogs with regularity - except for "Fugly Horse of the Day" - but it seems to me that most people would start off with a post about their purpose, or theme, or a summary of themselves. Despite the fact that the phrase "The wrong lead, on purpose" is scrawled across the top of this blog, I do not consider myself to be especially contrary. So I suppose I'll do the same:

This blog will probably be no more about any one subject than anyone's life is about any one subject. I am 22 years old, and I graduated from college in May. I've never seen a blog about the floaty, wandery weirdness of post-college, pre-real responsibility existence, so I'm writing one. That's not to suggest that I think anyone will, or ought to, read what I write, or that those of us in this uncomfortable stage have much to say that is worth reading about.

Here is what I know about being a grown-up:
1. Grown-uppedness is not something that one can achieve; no one wakes up one day and goes "Hello, adulthood, I have arrived!" Or, such a person surely is not an adult. Decisions and behaviors are either grown-up, or they are not, but I have never heard of a satisfactory definition of what ratio of grown-up-to-not behaviors makes one an adult. Suffice to say there are grown-ups under the age of 18, and not-grown-ups over the age of 80.
2. "Childhood ends with the realization that mommy and daddy are not perfect, and do not have all the answers. Adulthood begins with the realization that nobody is perfect, and there are no answers. Adolescence is the ugly period in between." I wrote that. I think. And I find it elegant.

That's pretty much it; all I know.