As part of my goal to read 50 pieces of reputable fiction, I picked up Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov, prepared to be scandalized. Lolita did not disappoint me there. Sometimes the cultural air seems filled with the smoke of the expectation that society is degrading. That in the old days, people looked out for each other, took responsibility for their actions, were tougher, were kinder, had a better work ethic; that we raised children as a village. It seems to me that every generation says these same things; that every generation despairs of the pleasure-seeking laziness and carelessness of their children. And if this is so, then was the first generation the most selfless, the most diligent, the most disciplined? And are we then doomed to be slowly eroded away to nothing? Or is it just that young people, generally speaking, cannot see the future and they make their own mistakes, just as their parents did? I don't think that values have a half-life. I think that there are just as many hard-working and kind people today as there ever were, and we - that is to say, as we become the older generation - are awfully prone to believing that our own experiences are unique. In any event, I am heartened to see that there were just as many pedophiles in the 1950's as there are today. Happily for our children, and sadly for Dolores Haze, there are now laws to protect children from sexual predation.
I don't buy it, by the way. That "Lolita" describes a sexually precocious girl. That Lolita is about love, which is what Lionel Trilling is quoted to have said on the inside of my copy. Neither am I especially interested in carving up this novel with a Freudian knife. This is what interests me about Lolita:
The separation between erotic experience and the act of sex. Every:single:page contains erotic language, but there is seldom a syllable said about sex itself. Intercourse is not described, because this is not a romance novel. Perhaps this is what Trilling was talking about, but just as erotic experience is not sex, and sex is not love, erotic experience is not love. They are related and connected, but not the same.
I liked the language very much. It was lyrical, ardent and flowery, almost to the extent that those maple leaf-shaped maple sugar candies are sweet. And just as I cannot eat an entire maple sugar candy, I did not read all of Lolita. I read up until Rita, and then read the dedication at the end. I was expecting language along the lines of Like Water for Chocolate; very elegant, but with some metaphors not quite reaching me. I'm sure they were lovely metaphors in Spanish, but they translated with something missing. But that was not the case. Instead, when Nabokov found that a French idiom was superior to an English one, he used it and left it in French. So there were expressions that I did not understand and did not look up, but understood from their context and lyrical quality.
I wondered why Lolita is considered such a necessary read, not because I think it lacks something, but I just wondered about the thought processes and motivations. It seems to me that Lolita is included in top novel lists because it contextualizes what is often treated as a strange kind of sexual deviation. Sexual deviancy is not new. I am happy that there are laws to protect children, and I do not believe that Lolita "asked for it." To come away from Lolita believing that Lolita was willing and consensual is to miss a material point. Humbert Humbert does not live in this reality. His retelling is not factual but sensual. It is his experience, and the reader can "hear" him "spin" the story to cast himself admirably. I don't think Nabokov wanted us to admire H.H., and I certainly don't think Nabokov admired the man himself. He made this character cringing and creeping and pathetic, abusive of others and temperamental; he crafted this manipulative sexual predator who time and time again rationalized his actions and reassigned blame for his failures. I wonder if Nabokov knew someone who relayed the germinal experiences and character traits, or if he found these impulses in himself first.
That is my experience with Lolita.
As for the rest of my list, I have made good progress with #008, and I have revised #009 at my mother's urging. #012 is also underway; I went to Boston Sunday with my future roommates and we did see a place, and have further revised our criteria. #013 is underway and will require tenacity.
#090 is in evidence on the back porch with some very cheerful tomatoes, peppers and basil.
Showing posts with label 101. Show all posts
Showing posts with label 101. Show all posts
Tuesday, June 16, 2009
Wednesday, May 27, 2009
A Prayer for Owen Meany
I went to a very, very good school. I don't mean my college, though that was certainly great as well; the public school system in the town where I was raised (and regrettably, still live, boo) is quite good. All the same, I was not in the habit of reading any of the assigned literature, even though I took all the AP English courses. So my self-satisfied little bubble was quite burst when I actually went down the checklist of books on the two 100 Best Novels lists. For my 101 in 1001 list, I set myself the task of reading 50 of the books on the list(s), with ones read before not to count. Because, in my vast reading experience, I had surely read at least a quarter of them already.
Now, I was a big reader as a little one, but I often chose to relive old favorites rather than pick up new stuff. So I know the whole Little House series, My Side of the Mountain and The Giver by heart. When I got to high school and SSR (sustained silent reading) was done away with, I forgot about books. If I wasn't forced to remember what I was reading during the day, I forgot about it and never finished it. I cannot tell you why, as an avid and I dare say good reader, Going After Cacciato sits on my little girls' blue bookshelf, its binding fresh and crackly. If I knew, I'd market it to all the frustrated kids out there and be a bajillionaire. Alas...
Throughout college, leisure reading was precluded by the always-looming need to read one massive text book or another. I read a lot of peer-reviewed journals in college -- devoured them. I believe that, even including 6 week Christmas breaks and 15 week summer vacations, the only things I read for pleasure were: the Harry Potter series, Wicked, and Son of a Witch.
And big-girl literature is quite different from otherwise-girl literature. I'm sure of any list of top children's books would be much more familiar to me. For instance, I read the Newbery Award winners from 1996, 1995, 1994, 1992, 1990, 1987, 1986, 1978, 1976, 1973, 1971, 1963, 1961, 1949, 1945 (areyoueffingkiddingme?), 1944, 1942, 1940, 1938 (my grandmother always bought me a Newbery Medal winner), and 1936. I stopped being a "child" in 1998 and so have read 1/3 of all the Newbery Medal winners of my time. Which is not to say that the Newbery Medal is the be-all and end-all (I'm sure the relative merits of this award and that list are very contentious in some circles), but for pete's sake, I was a well-read child and I expected to find myself a well-read young adult!
And yet, from the lists I set down for myself, my "50" may not be any of the following: Animal Farm (#31, R#20), Lord of the Flies (#41, R#25), The Call of the Wild (#88, R#75), The Lord of the Rings (R#4), To Kill a Mockingbird (R#5), The Handmaid's Tale (R#53). I have excluded six novels out of a combined 120+. SIX.
On the bright side, I may be an ignorant, ill-read troll of a suburbanite, but at least my options are open.
I think my friend pulled A Prayer for Owen Meany off the shelf in the family room, because she applies herself to leisure reading and is always yanking books off of shelves. There are a few books of each other's we've had so long that we can't remember where they originated. I was putting away her early-morning selections and picked up Owen Meany, and started to read it. Don't worry, I won't spoil it. And take care you don't skip ahead or do something silly like read the Wikipedia article. You need to follow the rules to read Owen Meany, or risk losing the impact of it. So I plodded through it, and an unfortunately-timed cold, which has dovetailed beautifully with my raging pollen allergies, has made me loathe to leave the house. And so today, I finished it. This is my first encounter with John Irving, and I appreciated his affection for New England and old Yankee mannerisms. The way he describes Johnny's grandmother, as if he were doing so to people who had never met a Yankee in their life, made me feel a little less guilty about appreciating it. Perhaps there are indeed people out there who aren't so familiar with New England as to have their preconceived notions. Preppiness, and an appreciation for it that isn't wholly based on the (entirely understandable) love of J. Crew, is comforting to me. I have heard that this theme, his adulation of prep schools (the man grew up in Exeter), Labrador retrievers, and New Hampshire do wear on the reader after six or seven novels with the same throbbing undercurrent, but that is, I think, humanizing. It wasn't until JK Rowling that I understood that a novelist had to make up a universe...make up opinions, tendencies, uhg, all those things about myself that color my world. How is someone able to shed it? Perhaps no one can, or perhaps I just love to proselytize too much.
I liked the main character. He was so refreshingly devoid of self-pity. No, wrong word. Everybody loves an underdog story, right? To reflect this, most characters in novels have something against them. Yes, we want to see them overcome those obstacles, but somehow I doubt that life is about congratulating yourself for overcoming your perceived setbacks. Johnny is an illegitimate child whose mother dies when he's very young. But the novel is not ripe with the poignance of missing her (regret), it's filled with how much he loved her. It's filled with how much he loved his Grandmother, Dan, Hester, and Owen. A Prayer for Owen Meany, as a work of fiction, has a happy ending.
How lovely :)
Now, I was a big reader as a little one, but I often chose to relive old favorites rather than pick up new stuff. So I know the whole Little House series, My Side of the Mountain and The Giver by heart. When I got to high school and SSR (sustained silent reading) was done away with, I forgot about books. If I wasn't forced to remember what I was reading during the day, I forgot about it and never finished it. I cannot tell you why, as an avid and I dare say good reader, Going After Cacciato sits on my little girls' blue bookshelf, its binding fresh and crackly. If I knew, I'd market it to all the frustrated kids out there and be a bajillionaire. Alas...
Throughout college, leisure reading was precluded by the always-looming need to read one massive text book or another. I read a lot of peer-reviewed journals in college -- devoured them. I believe that, even including 6 week Christmas breaks and 15 week summer vacations, the only things I read for pleasure were: the Harry Potter series, Wicked, and Son of a Witch.
And big-girl literature is quite different from otherwise-girl literature. I'm sure of any list of top children's books would be much more familiar to me. For instance, I read the Newbery Award winners from 1996, 1995, 1994, 1992, 1990, 1987, 1986, 1978, 1976, 1973, 1971, 1963, 1961, 1949, 1945 (areyoueffingkiddingme?), 1944, 1942, 1940, 1938 (my grandmother always bought me a Newbery Medal winner), and 1936. I stopped being a "child" in 1998 and so have read 1/3 of all the Newbery Medal winners of my time. Which is not to say that the Newbery Medal is the be-all and end-all (I'm sure the relative merits of this award and that list are very contentious in some circles), but for pete's sake, I was a well-read child and I expected to find myself a well-read young adult!
And yet, from the lists I set down for myself, my "50" may not be any of the following: Animal Farm (#31, R#20), Lord of the Flies (#41, R#25), The Call of the Wild (#88, R#75), The Lord of the Rings (R#4), To Kill a Mockingbird (R#5), The Handmaid's Tale (R#53). I have excluded six novels out of a combined 120+. SIX.
On the bright side, I may be an ignorant, ill-read troll of a suburbanite, but at least my options are open.
I think my friend pulled A Prayer for Owen Meany off the shelf in the family room, because she applies herself to leisure reading and is always yanking books off of shelves. There are a few books of each other's we've had so long that we can't remember where they originated. I was putting away her early-morning selections and picked up Owen Meany, and started to read it. Don't worry, I won't spoil it. And take care you don't skip ahead or do something silly like read the Wikipedia article. You need to follow the rules to read Owen Meany, or risk losing the impact of it. So I plodded through it, and an unfortunately-timed cold, which has dovetailed beautifully with my raging pollen allergies, has made me loathe to leave the house. And so today, I finished it. This is my first encounter with John Irving, and I appreciated his affection for New England and old Yankee mannerisms. The way he describes Johnny's grandmother, as if he were doing so to people who had never met a Yankee in their life, made me feel a little less guilty about appreciating it. Perhaps there are indeed people out there who aren't so familiar with New England as to have their preconceived notions. Preppiness, and an appreciation for it that isn't wholly based on the (entirely understandable) love of J. Crew, is comforting to me. I have heard that this theme, his adulation of prep schools (the man grew up in Exeter), Labrador retrievers, and New Hampshire do wear on the reader after six or seven novels with the same throbbing undercurrent, but that is, I think, humanizing. It wasn't until JK Rowling that I understood that a novelist had to make up a universe...make up opinions, tendencies, uhg, all those things about myself that color my world. How is someone able to shed it? Perhaps no one can, or perhaps I just love to proselytize too much.
I liked the main character. He was so refreshingly devoid of self-pity. No, wrong word. Everybody loves an underdog story, right? To reflect this, most characters in novels have something against them. Yes, we want to see them overcome those obstacles, but somehow I doubt that life is about congratulating yourself for overcoming your perceived setbacks. Johnny is an illegitimate child whose mother dies when he's very young. But the novel is not ripe with the poignance of missing her (regret), it's filled with how much he loved her. It's filled with how much he loved his Grandmother, Dan, Hester, and Owen. A Prayer for Owen Meany, as a work of fiction, has a happy ending.
How lovely :)
Wednesday, April 22, 2009
101 in 1001 days
I've decided to join in on the fun and make my own list of 101 tasks to complete in 1001 days. If Thursday, April 23rd represents "Day Zero" then I must complete these tasks by Thursday, January 19th, 2012. For more information, visit Day Zero.
Four things greater than all things are, -
Women and Horses and Power and War.
Rudyard Kipling
001. Jump three feet.
002. Drive a pony.
003. Ride an Arabian again.
004. Clicker-train Beep Beep to "whoa", "walk", "trot", and "canter". (0/4)
005. Make Beep Beep into a beginner horse.
006. Attend a sporthorse inspection.
007. Break out a greenie.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
008. Save $6,000 by August 2009.
009. Get a nanny job for summer 2009.
010. Get a volunteer lab job for summer 2009.
011. Get a volunteer or paid lab job for fall 2009.
012. Move to Boston.
013. Get a full-time job with benefits for fall 2009 in Boston.
014. Get a credit card that I pay for, or transfer the one I share with Mommy to me.
015. Find a dentist, physician, GYN and ophthalmologist in Boston.
016. Acquire copies of all my medical and dental records.
017. Organize all personal documents.
018. Throw at least one of each: apartment-warming party, Christmas party, Halloween party, New Years party, birthday party.
019. Get and decorate my own Christmas tree.
020. Send out self-made Christmas cards to family and friends.
I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale.
Marie Curie
021. Learn my times-tables up to 12.
022. Learn the first 20 squares of natural numbers.
023. Learn the first 10 cubes of natural numbers.
024. Write intelligent (not "getting to know you") letters to 3 researchers whose work I admire. (0/3)
025. Seriously read 2 college textbooks. (0/2)
026. Take a Biochemistry course.
027. Take a Cell Biology course.
028. Take Genetics again, or a specific Genetics-type class if I'm not allowed to take it again.
029. Take a Molecular Biology course.
030. Finish my Biology GRE study book.
031. Take the Biology GRE.
032. Take Biochem/Cell/Molecular Biology GRE.
033. Retake the basic GREs. Shoot for a 700/600/6.0.
034. Get into the graduate program at the University of Kentucky.
"Oh! certainly,'' cried his faithful assistant, "no one can be really esteemed accomplished, who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.''
"All this she must possess,'' added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.''
Jane Austen
035. Read On the Origin of the Species.
036. Read the Bible.
037. Read the Koran.
038. Read Auto Repair for Dummies (or something like it).
039. Read 50 previously unread books from the Random House/Modern Library's list of the 100 Best Novels.
040. Memorize my favorite speech from Shakespeare.
041. Read a novel in Spanish or German.
042. Read 10 books of non-western canon, such as these.
Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.
José MartÃ
043. Give up chocolate for a month on three separate occasions. (0/3)
044. Give up peanut butter for a month.
045. Give up cheese for a month.
046. Give up candy, cookies, alcohol and starchy foods for a full month on two occasions. (0/2)
047. Keep a journal of everything I eat and drink for a week on 10 occasions. (0/10)
048. Create my own ab/core routine and do it every day for a month.
049. Eat nothing after 8PM every night for a fortnight on four occasions. (0/4)
050. Make a list of the 10 Best Reasons to Do That Physical Activity Right Now!
051. Make a list of the 10 Best Reasons to Put That Down Right Now!
052. Write a goodbye letter to Chubbyself.
053. Weigh 160 lbs.
054. Weigh 150 lbs.
055. Develop a training schedule for the marathon on August 25th, 2009.
056. Run the Self-Transcendence Marathon with Julie.
057. Run a 5K.
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
058. Go a whole day without complaining on 20 separate occasions. (0/20)
059. Go a whole day without saying the words "no", "not", etc. on 5 separate occasions. (0/5)
060. Go a whole day without saying "like" on 6 separate occasions. (0/6)
061. Make a list of 25 things that make me happy.
062. Make a list of 25 things that I love about myself.
063. Make a list of 25 things that I love about friends and family.
064. Take a week off from medication.
There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford.
John Bradford
Often written: There but for the grace of God, go I.
065. Give blood.
066. Write and send letters to 3 people who made a difference to me growing up. (0/3)
067. Complete Emma's horse book.
068. Make dinner for my parents once a week.
069. Visit my grandma and great-grandma 20 times. (0/20)
070. Send my little brother a card for his birthday. (0/3)
071. Attend a charity ball.
072. Develop and use a nondenominational "grace" before meals.
073. Adopt a Standard Poodle.
Miscellaneous, enrichment.
074. Get an allergy test.
075. Floss at least twice a week.
076. Get into bed by 10 every night for a fortnight on 5 occasions. (0/5)
077. Eat fish once every 2 weeks, canned tuna not to count.
078. Watch 10 sunrises. (0/10)
079. Ask out a boy. Pick him up and pay for dinner.
080. Go camping.
081. Go to Germany.
082. Learn CPR.
083. Learn needlepoint.
084. Take a dance class.
085. Attend 5 plays. (0/5)
086. Attend 1 concert.
087. Make 15 museum trips. (0/15)
088. Play a game of soccer or football.
089. Make a recipe book.
090. Plant an herb or vegetable garden.
091. Plan and make 15 local meals. (0/15)
092. Make a scrapbook of some stuff from my "memory box."
093. Meditate for 5 minutes 5 times per month. (0/415)
094. Go a month without that.
095. Bring a Wikipedia article to "Featured Article" status.
096. Get back in the boat.
097. Re-learn a serviceable front crawl.
098. Write an article, letter, or blog post about ADHD.
099. Post/discuss and photograph these tasks.
100. Donate $1 to charity for each task not completed at the end of 1001 days.
101. Make a new 101 in 1001 list.
Four things greater than all things are, -
Women and Horses and Power and War.
Rudyard Kipling
001. Jump three feet.
002. Drive a pony.
003. Ride an Arabian again.
004. Clicker-train Beep Beep to "whoa", "walk", "trot", and "canter". (0/4)
005. Make Beep Beep into a beginner horse.
006. Attend a sporthorse inspection.
007. Break out a greenie.
And the day came when the risk to remain tight in a bud was more painful than the risk it took to blossom.
Anais Nin
008. Save $6,000 by August 2009.
009. Get a nanny job for summer 2009.
010. Get a volunteer lab job for summer 2009.
011. Get a volunteer or paid lab job for fall 2009.
012. Move to Boston.
013. Get a full-time job with benefits for fall 2009 in Boston.
014. Get a credit card that I pay for, or transfer the one I share with Mommy to me.
015. Find a dentist, physician, GYN and ophthalmologist in Boston.
016. Acquire copies of all my medical and dental records.
017. Organize all personal documents.
018. Throw at least one of each: apartment-warming party, Christmas party, Halloween party, New Years party, birthday party.
019. Get and decorate my own Christmas tree.
020. Send out self-made Christmas cards to family and friends.
I am among those who think that science has great beauty. A scientist in his laboratory is not only a technician: he is also a child placed before natural phenomena which impress him like a fairy tale.
Marie Curie
021. Learn my times-tables up to 12.
022. Learn the first 20 squares of natural numbers.
023. Learn the first 10 cubes of natural numbers.
024. Write intelligent (not "getting to know you") letters to 3 researchers whose work I admire. (0/3)
025. Seriously read 2 college textbooks. (0/2)
026. Take a Biochemistry course.
027. Take a Cell Biology course.
028. Take Genetics again, or a specific Genetics-type class if I'm not allowed to take it again.
029. Take a Molecular Biology course.
030. Finish my Biology GRE study book.
031. Take the Biology GRE.
032. Take Biochem/Cell/Molecular Biology GRE.
033. Retake the basic GREs. Shoot for a 700/600/6.0.
034. Get into the graduate program at the University of Kentucky.
"Oh! certainly,'' cried his faithful assistant, "no one can be really esteemed accomplished, who does not greatly surpass what is usually met with. A woman must have a thorough knowledge of music, singing, drawing, dancing, and the modern languages, to deserve the word; and besides all this, she must possess a certain something in her air and manner of walking, the tone of her voice, her address and expressions, or the word will be but half deserved.''
"All this she must possess,'' added Darcy, "and to all this she must yet add something more substantial, in the improvement of her mind by extensive reading.''
Jane Austen
035. Read On the Origin of the Species.
036. Read the Bible.
037. Read the Koran.
038. Read Auto Repair for Dummies (or something like it).
039. Read 50 previously unread books from the Random House/Modern Library's list of the 100 Best Novels.
040. Memorize my favorite speech from Shakespeare.
041. Read a novel in Spanish or German.
042. Read 10 books of non-western canon, such as these.
Man has to suffer. When he has no real afflictions, he invents some.
José MartÃ
043. Give up chocolate for a month on three separate occasions. (0/3)
044. Give up peanut butter for a month.
045. Give up cheese for a month.
046. Give up candy, cookies, alcohol and starchy foods for a full month on two occasions. (0/2)
047. Keep a journal of everything I eat and drink for a week on 10 occasions. (0/10)
048. Create my own ab/core routine and do it every day for a month.
049. Eat nothing after 8PM every night for a fortnight on four occasions. (0/4)
050. Make a list of the 10 Best Reasons to Do That Physical Activity Right Now!
051. Make a list of the 10 Best Reasons to Put That Down Right Now!
052. Write a goodbye letter to Chubbyself.
053. Weigh 160 lbs.
054. Weigh 150 lbs.
055. Develop a training schedule for the marathon on August 25th, 2009.
056. Run the Self-Transcendence Marathon with Julie.
057. Run a 5K.
People seem not to see that their opinion of the world is also a confession of their character.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
058. Go a whole day without complaining on 20 separate occasions. (0/20)
059. Go a whole day without saying the words "no", "not", etc. on 5 separate occasions. (0/5)
060. Go a whole day without saying "like" on 6 separate occasions. (0/6)
061. Make a list of 25 things that make me happy.
062. Make a list of 25 things that I love about myself.
063. Make a list of 25 things that I love about friends and family.
064. Take a week off from medication.
There but for the grace of God, goes John Bradford.
John Bradford
Often written: There but for the grace of God, go I.
065. Give blood.
066. Write and send letters to 3 people who made a difference to me growing up. (0/3)
067. Complete Emma's horse book.
068. Make dinner for my parents once a week.
069. Visit my grandma and great-grandma 20 times. (0/20)
070. Send my little brother a card for his birthday. (0/3)
071. Attend a charity ball.
072. Develop and use a nondenominational "grace" before meals.
073. Adopt a Standard Poodle.
Miscellaneous, enrichment.
074. Get an allergy test.
075. Floss at least twice a week.
076. Get into bed by 10 every night for a fortnight on 5 occasions. (0/5)
077. Eat fish once every 2 weeks, canned tuna not to count.
078. Watch 10 sunrises. (0/10)
079. Ask out a boy. Pick him up and pay for dinner.
080. Go camping.
081. Go to Germany.
082. Learn CPR.
083. Learn needlepoint.
084. Take a dance class.
085. Attend 5 plays. (0/5)
086. Attend 1 concert.
087. Make 15 museum trips. (0/15)
088. Play a game of soccer or football.
089. Make a recipe book.
090. Plant an herb or vegetable garden.
091. Plan and make 15 local meals. (0/15)
092. Make a scrapbook of some stuff from my "memory box."
093. Meditate for 5 minutes 5 times per month. (0/415)
094. Go a month without that.
095. Bring a Wikipedia article to "Featured Article" status.
096. Get back in the boat.
097. Re-learn a serviceable front crawl.
098. Write an article, letter, or blog post about ADHD.
099. Post/discuss and photograph these tasks.
100. Donate $1 to charity for each task not completed at the end of 1001 days.
101. Make a new 101 in 1001 list.
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